Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Round Two goes to my gut

You will know when it’s time to let go. As a woman, we are blest with our deepest gut. It is hardly ever wrong. For me, mine is always right. In December, I met with an old friend I hadn’t seen in years after the office he set up in Kampala folded. He noticed me first, expressed excitement and we shared great ideas. Phone calls followed and he promised to donate a whole lot of money to BN Poetry Award and then some.

We scheduled skype interviews and even though my gut warned me not to pursue this surprise donor after he continuously failed to honour calls, I never let go of my hope and faith. My weakness is that I have faith and hope in people. Then his close friends began dying. After he lost a third friend on the same day, I knew that my gut had been right all along. He took all the business ideas I shared by email and phone and if you ever hear of these ideas. I am sure they are now part of his annual work plan and his profits will rise. I should always listen to my gut. It’s God’s way of letting me know that it’s time to let go.

I hold onto friendships that I know died about twenty emails ago. I hold on because I believe in love eternal, friendship eternal and I have hope and faith in people. People are good. My gut told me that this friendship had ended but I stared my gut in the face and told it within no uncertain terms that its 37 years of experience was no match for my one month of unheeded infatuation and hopelessness. The friendship was over. The other person knew it. Not I.

Here I am. My gut speaks loudly, fondly, wisely. I am standing on the precipice of my dreams. My gut tells me to fly because the wings will grow as I fall. I am flying. My wings are growing. I am learning to soar, to be me.

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